May 21 2008
Who knew senators had such a sense of humor
TheHill.com – Senators say whether they’d agree to be vice president
This is one of those articles that I read out of curiosity, only to find that it was gold mine of humor. Rather than summarize, I’ll just provide you with some my favorites, including several Republicans making jokes about how Cheney came to be VP:
I know already who it will be: the man in charge of the search. There’s no need for me to respond. That’s how you get to be vice president.
Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.)
We already have a vice president from Wyoming. So we’ll have to see if Sen. McCain asks me to chair his selection committee. That seems to work well. It certainly seemed to work well for the last guy from Wyoming.
John Barrasso (R-Wyo.)
Of course. Big house, big car, not much to do. Why not?
Bob Bennett (R-Utah)
No, I can already preside over the Senate, and I do not enjoy spending a lot of time at “undisclosed locations.”
Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.)
Yes. Sign me up. I’ve been kidding people for years: The hours are better, the wages are just as good — whoever heard of a vice president getting shot at? — and it’s a great opportunity to travel. And actually since time has gone by, the job is robust … So sure. Anybody here would, if they’re going to be honest. The chances are slim to none. But I promise you, I would deliver all three of Delaware’s electoral votes.
Tom Carper (D-Del.)
When I was much younger I would have probably said, ‘Sure, I’ll be glad to accept it,’ but I’m 70 years [old] and they need a younger person for the job. I would probably tell them, ‘Look for somebody else.’
Thad Cochran (R-Miss.)
(See, it’s funny because he’s a Republican and he says that being 70 is too old for VP, when the Republican presidential nominee is 71. Whoops!)
I would say ‘No, Hillary.’
Larry Craig (R-Idaho)
I’m too old to be vice president. But I am young enough to be reelected to the Senate.
Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa)
No. I don’t like going to funerals.
Judd Gregg (R-N.H.)
No, I’d have Jon Stewart stand in for me. Jon Stewart. That’s my guy.
Tom Harkin (D-Iowa)
No. I enjoy life too much.
James Inhofe (R-Okla.)
I plan to stick with my current job until I get the hang of it.
Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.)
Absolutely. Absolutely. I think I would be great. First of all, I know how to behave at weddings and funerals. And I know how to be commander in chief. I’d bring a lot of fun to the job. We would rock the Naval Observatory.
Barbara Mikulski (D-Md.)
No. I don’t cut ribbons well or give eulogies at funerals.
Pat Roberts (R-Kan.)
I have a unique perspective on this. I am the only senator to have announced I am not running for president because there should be someone here to serve as the Senate’s designated driver. I intend to stay in that position. The Senate needs a designated driver to stay behind and work on healthcare.
Ron Wyden (D-Ore.)
